This is a continuation of the last post Nr. 6:

For a human to apply that which lies beyond everything known is knowledge in itself. Is deeper knowledge than usual knowledge is. You may know of the mind that which is already known, lies behind you.
To though begin doing something that you have yourself not done yet, you must completely create new action, to what your specific organism already knows.
All that you have in front of you (not in the sense of time, but what lies materially before you), will though generally be, something you have seen before in some way.
And yet what you have seen before can and must be applied differently to all you’ve known before.
If you’ve never built a house, but at some point someone tried to build a new house, he needed trust that a certain idea, although in image applies perfectly to his needs, but the image ain’t the deed. The image doesn’t translate into action. Does not translate into every single step needing to be taken.
Between image and deed lies a domain the mind can’t perceive and yet work out of.
The deed is applying a certain method. You apply trust into not knowing how to proceed, but also in your body and hands or even mind to come upon a new creation, new reaction, novel something.

How can you have this trust, when your mind does not have the solution yet?
Look at your past only, to get this trust for your future, yet don’t take the past with you. Only get enough information to drop what doesn’t help you in each moment, working from that completely uncomprehensive yet fully existing space. You can use this looking at the past also to cool and melt down the old wounds but also to begin acting earlier and sooner over time than you usually would. Life doesn’t get better, it gets fresher and maybe also better.

How have you overcome passages and situations that at one point seemed unsurmountable, and when were you able to surmount them? You looked up and down, nothing the mind knew could help you. Nothing you see applies in one way with what you already know to the solution you can’t see yet. Over time of trying and failing experience grows. Experience can also grow when not acting, by looking at yourself the Z way. When you then finally choose to act, it’s intuition, suffering and other factors that contribute to overcoming one more challenge. That trust was really all it took. A trust that you deserve also to take a choice for yourself. Choose a better way for yourself. Protect your body from unnecessary harm. More calm, yet never only calm.
There are so many things I thought were about me doing what I thought was best, my own TRUE actions, yet in these days finally some veil begins to lift a little further in how little they were my own actions and yet are explainable by what happened to me in my youth, my formative years.
So the wear and tear of all these situations can either wear you down, which of course it does, but when perceived with the right mind set, it also slowly feeds experience that helps to act.
Having seen this happen again and again for a prolonged time, why not assume you could have this trust earlier, before renewed wear and tear is needed?

Can you have enough trust in your body to move forward, blind?
Can you have enough trust in your mind to not know the next decision to make and yet do something?
Can you have enough trust in your heart to know it turns out alright, even when it hasn’t done that yet? The loving glue in the big unknown, known.

Trust in an ability not seen before, with parts always been there, seemingly unfit to fit together!
Yet how can you have trust??

You must believe yourself capable to overcome. You also could know that you aren’t born without a reason, i.e. yes your parents consummated their love in a very specific way of which you are the result, so keep in mind what I’ve written before. This reason counts for every moment of your life, as it all is interdependent. You may say my reason only exists so I can react a certain way to a certain person and be of help to them, but how did you get there to able able to respond like you did? You grew and matured. All of your life’s situations come together, every time, sometimes one sometimes another.

To grow though, the knowledge of the old way, what you have traversed, is partially broken and recreated. Old and new intermingle in the moment. If seen materially, old is material, breaks apart and moulds, flows into new material. Old is partially still there and new partially begins to exist.
Sometimes for a longer time, no solution seems to arise and you sit through situations for months, years. Wasted time?

I have been able to create a house for my cat, when days before I saw no way, through applying exactly what I am writing here, even though I have 2 left hands for everything about building, somehow with that trust, I seemed to have had a growth of experience of maybe 1 or 2 years in only seconds.. I could not put my trust on anything feasible touchable, but on the knowledge that I’ll safely overcome what I don’t know yet.

We don’t know it, that’s a problem right?
If seen from a different perspective perhaps not. What if you already knew beforehand how to overcome every hardship in life?
That hardship would not be there. You already know how to overcome it. You’d then already know if taken into the extreme every next step, before you will take it.
So you’d know past present and future… It would all play out exactly the way you know.

Now compare this to how it plays out now and reverently bless your idiocy, human nature, our stumbling and foolish hardness.

So we can have trust in something that doesn’t exist yet, because we know in the future it is existent without seeing it yet. We are happy to not know, because otherwise you’d be reading the book called your own life. The precious feeling of overcoming hardship is a healthy drug. Reason to find more things to overcome.

Uncoupling thought from action, being able to think about anything even something you usually have problems with personally, and yet don’t go into action is another part that I feel needs to be part of this whole equation of applying and doing the deed. As you might see I prefer to comprehend what I do and why I do it, instead of doing it without the understanding. To each their own, right?
No fuck that, I gotta please you, I have to… Is that really all life is about? Pleasing everybody else because I am so god darn pleasant right now. Yikes when I think back to how I have acted in my own self deluded ways. Yet yikes.. Is also foolish, because I only can say yikes, because now I have understanding about that situation. And I only say yikes because I take the past with me whereas I should leave it where it is and only take the trust with me, clean and ‘simple’.

Quitting over time the need to know, before you know, so knowing comes when it’s ready to be known. Like if you know precisely all the bad stuff that will be going to happen and also how and who it hits up to the precise second. In a way you’d be getting suckerpunched twice, once when you are told and once when it actually happens. At least when it happens to you and it’s the first time you can know about it, you wasn’t suckerpunched twice. You’ll want to know anyway, but that can die on it’s own, this urge.

Another point of vital importance for you specifically is to live as little different life’s as possible. I for example carry a different jacket for work than when I am at home and do my own stuff, i. e. going out to wherever I go. It kills me inside to wear a different jacket to work, even though the one jacket I wear at home is quite rad, kick ass. I love it. Every skull, wolf and beautiful moon on it. It represents me more, even though clothes don’t represent me. But wearing 2 different sets of clothes surely doesn’t represent me. So in a way, looking back, there was in school a presentation about clothes making the man, now with true authenticity, which is much more important than making the man, it is KILLING me, every bit I begin to cherish. It turns out, even that was X and Y thinking hehe. Foolish me.

I seem to come to the impression that only love on the inside can be the glue that merges my differing sides of me, into wholeness, as seen as such on the outside of me.

So here is to my lovely Wolf. It’s beautiful presence flowing through me.
I am so blessed. I am grateful for it’s beautiful wolfish ways.


Here is to all you readers, that actually do happen to go beyond the landing page, I may not say so specifically, but please you are invited to agree or disagree, say hello or just whatever. Some little sign that you, from wherever you happen to be, China, Canada, America, Europe or somewhere else might have enjoyed your time spent with me. Something you feel is missing or loving the way I write. Just scroll a little further to respond if you so wish to do. I’d be happy to see one first comment after more than a year of some little activity here.

Do also know, I mainly write for myself and to have a one true spot where everything I put out is fully controlled by me, as much as the materials I work with allow that. As changeful as my expression turns out to be anyway. I do though love to see I ain’t a lone wolf, not that I see myself as such but most of the time I truly am 😛

You are deeply welcome, however you happen to be right now.


Part 1 of this series.
Part 2 of this series.
Part 3 of this series.
Part 4 of this series.
Part 5 of this series.
Part 6 of this series.
Part 7 of this series.

Express Your-Self

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