Facebook Diaries 5

December 8, 2018

When you let new people in your life, complete strangers, you are prepared to die to your old self, because you will get new ideas and views about living, from other people, because we all are different and can share our strengths of life, with each other. We can share our cultures, down to the family culture.Every new person potentially means a complete new you.

December 9, 2018

You can live in your body or body of thoughts.

December 18, 2018

You could tell a human everything they would ever want to know, this though is the one way to destroy everything you told them, because they have not learned the one thing really important, and that is to think for themself.

December 26, 2018

Whomever moves mountains walks in the valleys he or she has created.

December 28, 2018

When I am the product of some far more intelligent process, that goes beyond my comprehension, why should I keep reminding myself of something that’s already behind the fact, is already unchangeably so?

January 1, 2019

Bird flew from the nest.It could be about flying. It could be about leaving.It could be about change.It could be someone’s mean joke.Or it could be a bird leaving the nest.

January 4, 2019

Unless you build yourself up from nothing but ashes, and even then a lot of cracking needs to happen, nothing is really, truly YOU….In addition:Some beliefs have to be layed on whatever you have experienced in you past. Others though, better have nothing to do with your past, but only the future potential you have. In the moment only you need some hefty dose of realism.One further more addendum:As long as you are still afraid to mix with the general hubbub and people of life.. Nuff said, ‘cus you ain’t YOU.

January 4, 2019

Someone don’t behave like you want them to? Maybe ‘cus you assume everybody gotta act like you want/ need them to. Some act the way you need, others the way you want, yet both don’t easily intertwine, not that some enjoyment can’t be had with either. The hecks the problem, find someone that does and problem no more!With 7 billion people at moment of speaking you can’t find your due? 😛 Blind to what you see. You think to see.And yet what you think to like may change, not that anything is wrong at that moment with whatever you like, just don’t assume things stay the way they are. If you are happy with something, whatever it is, be it, but don’t be sad when they do change, ‘cus it’s what you really want. That’s what it’s all about in the end, not your thoughts. They are ‘practically’ to what you really are. And yet these thoughts also carry meaning… Oh wow life must be complicated then.

January 8, 2019

Could it be that Spam e-mails and a less calm state of being go hand in hand?…

January 11, 2019

I don’t mind living in a babylonian tower, no matter how high on up that tower goes, I’ll stay at the ground floor, the view is fine from up there.

January 11, 2019

Why ought one human hide an aspect of himself that he shares with every other human, as if you are not having it, or I AIN’T LIKE THAT!Or you can’t even see it of yourself, that it is so very plainly there, and you are aware of it.But then again, as long as humans are positively clueless what they might be capable of, well then of course everything beyond this narrow window, what we know to be human is compared to what we don’t know miraculous, godlike.

January 15, 2019

We would always go back and change the past, to have a better future, I mean Now, but that’s already over, untouchable yet needed to be seen under the right light. But we wouldn’t go so far as change our Now, to have a better future, I mean tomorrow, which ain’t yet there and can be touched in due time, all Life permitting.

January 16, 2019

Heaven and haven for life:I ain’t anvil nor hammer, I am the hammered.Ain’t devil nor angel, I am human.Ain’t one step before my grave nor one step from my birth, I am alive until my last of breath.Ain’t here on an easy stop between heaven and hell, I am on earth.Ain’t completely my own until I am.Everything before becoming completely my own is the forge that makes a human truly humane.Now if only we knew what being humane is… and again this brain of mine interjects as messenger between martyrdom and stardom.Between heart and the roots my toes ought to be planted in.Now if only my brain would grow nerves unto the bottom of my toes, deeply into the earth I roam.So my feet ain’t the most dirty anymore but the contact between man and true heaven, the only heaven. Like so my foot houses my soul or what’s left of it, for I am the sole owner of it.For once you dear man jump and plant your feet firmly on the ground and dance like you’ve never before.HEEYAAHHH!!!!Heaven and haven for life.

January 25, 2019

The promised land is imperfection undivided and undiluted. Taken as is.Heaven is further unfolding impefection. Hell is perfection, cus we got no reason to exist in a perfect world.So what shall it be heaven or hell? On this earth or the beyond you’ll never be able to remember anyway?So tell me young child, are you still looking for freedom? If so go for the one you don’t want to run away from but can embrace continually.If so you’ll always be free, lest you forget imperfection and death exist.

January 25, 2019

As man, for me it’s indispensable to understand how and why things go as they go, not that they go as they go, and whatever that may be.As such I might find my own peace.

January 25, 2019

I don’t tell truths,I tell feelings,I tell hurts,I tell missings,I tell joys,I tell funs,I tell painfuls,I tell experiencings in my view,I tell life and death in my view,Whatever truth I got, will be busted next time around, or NOW.

January 29, 2019

Dance of the new winds:A new wind is blowing up against the ridge of my nose,Death before my eyes, death behind my skull.The visor of light, casting a doubtful shadow on my eyes.Screaming reverie before I go to the lengths that the new always carries with her toil of war.One foot after another, stepping in the new morn’s shady red light.Bloody wise, is the smoking crow, high up on the perch of a pipe.Dead cat’s dancing before necrophilic crows.The deathly orgasm.And yet the sun does shine, a new wind is blowing.New horizons are but a step away.Into the wind I step, head held high, speaking wisest of the bloody fools.Oh if only my reverie of what lies behind were to be taken seriously…Is it then time to drown into what has been, can’t be no more?Or is it time to bite the bullet, do what needs be done?!New wind it is, new horizons and for all the new battles.Let’s dance our shaky legs off.Breathe in deep, there might actually be life even in the deepest deathly hollows, even if my reverie were to be turned upfront into ever-new winds!

February 8, 2019

Just now, I was talking in my head:I don’t like that idea.The response that came was:I don’t like it either.Just classic.

February 8, 2019

The Internet may get you stuff quickly, from all over the world.Every corner, bringing their own culture up to your doorstep.Yet often what you really want is to have a little patience.You may receive the same, some time later at a better price, which is negligible as a reward, but the faith has been strong.To see this rewarded… Priceless.

February 8, 2019

I hear them talking, from one side of this perfectly round pond to another.Hey you, I remember you.It seems as if we have been out of touch, each of us living in our own corners, making our borders, enforcing them, aggrandising them, But I remember.I remember you from a long time ago.We used to be friends.We used to hang out together.There isn’t all that much separating us.There isn’t all that much dividing us.We used to talk to each other, perhaps only in silent whisper, because I rarely remember there to be a voice.But We were talking between brothers of every colour and nation, this huge planet that is my body.I am so proud of myself, that They are talking again with each other. I don’t remember ever having done that before. They even understand each other… Misty eyes.They don’t speak anymore as foreigners to each other. One common language. There is hope. The seams are mending themselves. The tapestry is joining her patches. This tapestry of life, this mosaic jungle of mismatching pieces. Are showing themselves, as mismatching as they are, it may somehow come together.

February 9, 2019

THE ENDThere are those that consider jumping out of the wheel of time, not being reborn is so wise and The Thing to go for. If they truly are so wise, the only thing you would ever wish for is to get back into the wheel. If everything that we don’t like about this world is in Actuality One, what is there to get away from? Just because you transcended it, you would choose to run away anyway?Never ever stepping out of it. This is far too miraculous, to be alive. So either you fail and get back into a body, or you do truly finally get it, and then you stay away from this planet, from life?Of course there would be this sort of being alive helping from the outside, bodiless type of experience. Sounds like they got something left undone, unsaid. But then again who am I? Just some body that apparently hasn’t transcended yet.. Still moping around in the lower planes of life. Haha Fools…

February 12, 2019

Don’t speak of the dessert, the sweet before you tell them that just walking in there doodely do, will only feed dreams.You can’t just emulate the sweet.You’ll be more fake than a fake tan.You’ll be the phony, but then again it takes one to know one, so this experience in itself, once overcome is quite valuable.Why the totally freedom approach and no work needed just ain’t true, in my experience at least.I can’t just ignore everything, nor dismiss it as the small printing.Everything is equally important, the good and the bad and whatever that entails.This simple ying yang sign is far to symbolically simple to convey what only lived actual experience can convey.So yes life can be sweet, is sweet but before that there is a whole lot of shit to eat through.

February 12, 2019

Change the past: We MUST WE MUST.Change the Future: We mUSt we must..Change the present: What about the past? What about the future?

February 16, 2019

Someone who is true to himself, won’t/ can’t/ has no reason ever to regret any thing, as long as he was or is true to himself at that moment.

February 19, 2019

Lifting skunks airwise high into the sky.Breathing in this glorious battle between running away and staring right back, into this black abysmal hole of…Wafting ‘Air de Toilette’Skunks’ been grinning right back at you.Who’s to give in first, who’s to stay?Battle yourself again and again until finally you run away anyway, to then act surprised as if you hadn’t seen it coming…Oh no, my thought had not been foretelling me this right from the first waft, entering my holy nostrils.The skunk seen you coming from far, he ain’t acting surprised.He just smiling his own skunky smile.He’s da been knower of what was to come.He knows he smells supreme.He knows he is supremer than thou in the sense of knowing himself.Know the runner from the staring right back at ya.Would you lift a skunk?What’s your wisdom say, today?——Themat-OOG

February 22, 2019

You can push a spire, make it higher, dizzyingly eerily similar to a babylonian tower… On the top you’ll see far. Too far maybe?Oh yes you’ll have come high, will have walked far, and yet you’ll die alone.Where is your craft? Where is your remedy? Whom have you saved? Certainly not yourself. Certainly not many others. None can understand you… You’ve become the alien you tried never to be.’Tis a work done for none but yourself.The thinner it is, the loner the (p/o)ath you’ve walked.A path walks high for a certain time, comes crashing down like a meteorite back to earth.You’ll smoulder for a while.Sizzle and fry.Slowly the meteorite digs deeper, crushingly deeper into the earth.Slowly the surface starts to melt, starts to mix with the surroundings.You let some of yourself mingle with whatever happens to be there.It don’t take long and suddenly you’ll have taken in more from your surroundings than whatever you have built up as this strong armour far up there in hell.I’d be probably alone to assume that somehow up there, where not even the stars can see you, t’was a lonely time.Yet something still fries, still sizzles.You get pieces, melt and coagulate new bits and only very little that came from up and down there.The pieces you’ve lost don’t go to waste.They weren’t worthless either.They’ll be food to many others, so they can follow the path up to become a meteorite too just like you.Crash and burn, then mix and mix where everybody else is.That’s where the party is at.Be that at work, at a party, on the street… wherever.You can try either of these steps early, too early, dunno why but there’s a certain rhythm this meteorite needs to go through.A certain hustle it needs to build.A certain pride in what you did.Some Cha-Cha.

February 23, 2019

Just imagine going to the grocery store and buying some:Hate to yourself (Sugar, sweet sugar, right?)Fear of change (Just one more ketchup bottle, right?)Fog to the memory (The mist from a freshly opened beer bottle, right?)One little more won’t hurt (Nuts and chips right?)Pain in a bottle (Tabasco right?)Tear jerker (you know this is onion right?)Lusty, sexy Pinata (Candy, Candy and more Candy!)Then shopping ain’t shopping anymore. You’ve entered an alien planet.

February 25, 2019

Outside… Outside of the window.The window of my eyes or the window of my soul?The window of my brain or the window of my heart?The window of my body or the window of my memory?Continually from somewhere, there are tests.Glorious fire, under thine ass.Suffering, suffering for those that can’t listen yet.Suffering for those that do listen.Suffering.. Oh pityfull suffering, if only that wasn’t there.Ahh they pull me down.Nope, that means you aren’t arising to the occasion.Ahh they are not what they seem.You ain’t honest with yourself, dumbwitt.Ahh the illusion strikes again.You did not want to listen to yourself, yet.Ahhh there is this THING, make it stop!Fuck no that means you gotta act.Ahh there is this person, make him shut up!Heck no, that means you want to speak up.All these tests do, in my case at least, is continually bring my own self worth up, notch by notch.And believe me there wasn’t much to begin with.I rather have it this way, build it on something tangible, than on some of the above…My life in a way destroyed everything, even at a young of whatever worth there might have been.There was beauty before this destruction happened, but also very much naiveness.Now there is so much less naiveness, and so much more self worth and understanding.I didn’t receive it, I made it myself, on what becomes for me of worth, based on trial and error.Based on questions upon questions.They could fill books, yet they might have begun writing one of their own.Questions, that could not live forever.Withdrawl symptoms of the mind, that have been beaten down by all these tests and continual trial and error of finding a way around.Finding a way to more honesty to myself.I tried to find a way to live with my suffering, beautiful suffering.Since of course suffering ain’t so beautiful I tried to find a way to keep my suffering, but to alleviate it only in as much as was possible/ findable at that time.Yet the suffering stayed, I held it back from leaving.I rather chose to live with it, not that I didn’t try to leave it behind.Yet beating myself up for not being able to, yet, wasn’t helpful at all either, but all is in the learning.In a way my mind showed me very clearly, if you can read it from the side, while life is going on, when there is much mental chatter about leaving stuff behind that has had it’s time, you can’t yet. The mind ain’t ready yet.Words ain’t meaning shit then.Or the body ain’t ready yet.Honesty makes the body, mind and emotional world begin communicating again, finding common ground, perhaps even a common language.Suffering is what actually makes it possible.Suffering again, ain’t wanna get rid until it get’s rid of itself.Pain, ugly pain, ain’t want you, but don’t wanna feel you either.For those fools that try to just feel the pain without patching it up, without coffee, smokes, alcohol, thoughts, TV, Mobile screens and the lot.Just sitting there and feeling it, preferably with a calm mind… As and when that becomes possible, because remember it takes time, and many of those ugly fucking outside tests…So, lately I’ve been reading, nature holds me back?Please?What?Thou art of nature, it’s holding you back?No nature whipped ME into shape.It still is.For how long? Eternity?Forever?Yesterday it was, today it sure did, tomorrow, ain’t no psychic, don’t know that, so ain’t going to believe that until that tomorrow becomes my today, my Now.————————————-Themat-OOG

February 26, 2019

You know, Truth and me go way back.We may have our differences sometimes, in cognition or expression, yet I know Truth has my back.I know I’ll live a Life as truthfully as I can each moment.I may have my hick ups and set backs, but they are only there to make me more truthful.So May truth bash me into shape, flow through me whenever she/ he/ it chooses so to do.In case Truth seems to hold back then I’ll just assume another set Back is installing itself in my way, to become more Truthful, to me, you and it. It, you and me. You, it and me.May I be bashed or the basher.May I flow smoothly with almost imperceptible, unrecognisable Truth, or just plainly forward as a rushing river.

February 26, 2019

In response to a video I just watched, by Elisabeth Zusev:This is the text that goes with the video:Know what no one tells you about weight loss? The identity crisis. I had tried to shed the weight before, unsuccessfully, for years. I was convinced that my biggest size was where I’d be spending the rest of my days, cringing through body shaming toxic environments. Nah, bro. I did the work to love myself at that size and it wasn’t always easy, but I did it. The universe went “that’s nice” and gave me a huge wake up call in June involving my blood pressure skyrocketing to ER levels. I started the keto diet and am down 50 lbs. Yay, right? Sure, totally. But, the part of me that I learned to love at my largest felt PISSED. Downright betrayed. “ExCUSE you…I thought we were cool.” That reaction was completely unexpected…did I do my job of loving that part TOO well? Why was I feeling devastated when my body was gaining energy? I wasn’t going to let this part have her way anymore, but I did need to give her a little space so, I made this video. It sucked. I’m naked and raw in this. It’s uncomfortable to talk about any of this. But it’s also freeing, so, here we are.——Whatever you are trying to get away from, be that bad habits, too much or too little body weights need brutal honesty.You and me both received wake up calls.I drank too much of booze, coffee and I smoked too much. Of course I should be able to love my behaviour…Of course I love myself…Because what was it that we were trying to love?Ourselves hurting our body?Because apparently our behaviour lead to our body truly hurting and not just a little.Is that really what we can or should love about ourselves?Can you truly love yourself, when your body ends up going that bad?Is that all our love can muster?Because love in mind is only that much, love in body, mind and emotions is so much more.You ‘mastered’ one/ two part, now comes the rest.Lucky YOU.Lucky ME.Love is action not an attitude.Be the way, you look beautiful this raw and naked, don’t ever try be unraw, we already know by now where that leads 🙂.I rather love myself all the way instead of only 1/3 or 2/3.

February 26, 2019

Words created to support a theory, may support that theory, but they don’t have to be true. They are relatively true at best, no matter how old that theory.They might be specifically true to you, yet perhaps even that doesn’t have to be.

February 27, 2019

Truth is inside of me, and may be expressed by me in the moment on the outside of my body. On my body, and what comes into my body, comes out of my body.Truth is only inviolate, because I allow change to happen, wherever that may be. I just need to listen to what I truly feel.All of that, including my body is open for change, a helluva big FREE 4 ALL. Nothing is safe from change. My expression can’t always stay the same. My habits are prone to change. My diet is prone to change.It is prone to change because I sink deeper into my own truth, free from the outside, yet often fueled by information out of the outside. I can’t ignore what’s outside of me, which is in a sense everything, including my body. I just ain’t alone!It only seems I am alone because in the end, all I have is my speech and my body. I ain’t got yours, so my truth only presides over my body, in correlation with yours. Together we grow, because I just can’t ignore you, nor myself.Yet often whatever comes from the outside, for a long time, comes dirty and unclean to me, I represent and use and play with it untruthfully in the end.That’s where learning and further change also happen.To come and bring it closer to my own truth.

March 1, 2019

Truth and it’s expression are commonly seen as one and the same thing, yet matter of factly, truth is completely distinct from it’s expression. It’s expression and truth have nothing in common. It’s expression can at best become truthful, truthfuller yet never truth itself. The expression of truth is in search of truth itself, but it almost doesn’t nor can realise it’s only the expression of truth, not truth itself.In retrospect, the expression of truth can remove the need to be truth, do truth, say truth, know truth and so on from it’s own further expression and be at it’s most truthful, expression by expression.The expression of truth neither can ever become or be truth, only the expression, no matter in what form, thought, emotion spirit and so on.Authenticity is Truth in the realm of the expression of truth, yet also not truth itself.Someone who would teach this, if it were teachable at all, would only be able to show you what he doesn’t mean, nothing else.And when there are no more tools to give you this freedom, Truth alone and by itself, ain’t you free?

March 6, 2019

Reality is when, you are trying to mix up a new batch of oil mixture but then the essential oil in it’s beautiful small bottle ain’t having it, she don’t want to be part of the mix.The erring human trying to open the bottle, will not be able to open, until he promises to the bottle, that in fact, it won’t be used in this specific mix.Then all of a sudden, you can open this bottle and can smell it’s divine grace. Yup that’s true.

March 16, 2019

Every person becomes a fine distillation of all the people he meets.Between these the most corresponding ones will turn into his lifestyle.Even the briefest timespans might become one of the higher density destillations in the mix that weds with earths bosom.

March 18, 2019

Once you open your own door, never ever close it again. Everything preliminary is but preparation.

March 26, 2019

If ya don’t like what cha doin, just tell da mind to take da control it supposedly has. Very likely the mind will beat it.And then?Hater’s gonna hate 😛

March 27, 2019

A good salesman sells you his soul.A real salesman sells you your own soul in a box saying new, Exceptional pricing only today only for you.A solid Salesman sells you the last shoppers soul for the price of 2 souls.In comes a new shopper, sees a gleaming box, exceptional pricing, next to it a truly ugly box, stinking like … . Shopper goes straight for the stinking box. Almost for free. Buys a bargain, now who’s soul did he buy this time?Might the shopper be a collector?Was he tricked, or not?Now who’s the true salesman?

March 31, 2019

In this house there was a corridor.It went two ways, but none came back.On and on these corridors went, always getting closer to each other, but never really touching.The closer they got, you’d almost be able to knock on the wall and somebody on the other side would hear ya.Yet only almost.These walls were impenetrable.Every odd kilometre though, there would be a slight opening.There would be scriptures, incantations and spells around the hole.The hole wasn’t translucent, so you couldn’t see through, nor touch the other side.The other side, …What side? Which side are you standing on?Light your torch and find out…Breathe in and say the spells if you dare.These spells are so ancient they can’t be written down in folklorist language, nor be understood by anyone only knowing these less ancient tongues.Yet as it so happens to be, you are an ancient one.You went to a school where only so many people are allowed entrance.Old family ties though got you in.You leasssrned of secrets and old tales.Of men and mice, working together.These stories are long past yet still some of them linger.Mice still remember the olden days.They fever for them to return.The council of mice and rats have made plans to get they’re eldest in tow, to move to ancient families and learn from them whatever they need.The eldest of mice get the honourable position for the quest.The quest that knows no end, yet always new bits are added seemingly from nowhere.A quest only the pure can reach.The old and destitute will falter half way through.The intensity of the quest reaches feverish pitches.Only the eldest and most adept may see through the eye of the storm and come out unscathed.Not for want of frailties, but for wisdom in powerless strength.The legends speak of these two tunnels.Is there a way through to the other side?Is there a way to break open what differentiates these two tunnels, make them one?One must diffuse one’s own body, one’s own mind, one’s own emotions and thoughts and enter as an empty one, where neither ancient nor modern have any meaning left.The young one’s rush to these gates and scurry out of their clothes yet something still is left.The middle aged one’s come drunk but prepared for the journey, yet the gates stay closed.The ancient one’s carry one like there were no gate and pass on through the other side.From the other side they begin making scratch marks, yet the gates have closed, they are trapped.The ancient one’s all of a sudden remember a song from when they were a child.A nursing song, a holy song, meant to help you fall asleep and dream soft and nice dreams.Thus themselves sung into sleep they walk on through again, unscathed.Yet this time there is no turning back. The gates of hell are closed for ever.What have they learned to take back to the youngsters and tell them the myriad of secrets from the other side?They remain silent, and the secret ain’t spoken yet volumes are shared. The young one’s all of a sudden can see, when they couldn’t see before.They’re eyes have awakened. The mind is at rest.And thus mice and rats work together again each in their size and their place, to mend the tunnels back. Men can walk these tunnels again blind.History hasn’t changed, nor will these tunnels ever change, so it’s fine, so it’s good.Thus ends the legend of the Man-Mouse, Hyriathh.

April 8, 2019

What???There is this notion called time?Are you for real?How far and how wide and how deep does it go?I am sure you have lots of it.Yeah, says I.One hour for this another for that. Two hours driving per day and eight hours somewhere else… Right? Some more pleasurable time in bed and some of that secret extra sauce, probably fills all the other holes of time.And then two full days of everything I have missed the other five days.Nahh I say, for you there is no time.

April 9, 2019

The world doesn’t change, because I want it to!
Freedom for all?!

April 27, 2019

I’ll use everything I have, whether you like it or not.I am just a bird tweedling diddely doo.Is the bird burdened by its own voice? Stupid.You ain’t gonna get an indiviuality any other way.

April 28, 2019

You only die when you fall from yourself.You can only live when you fall for yourself, because changing is the most alive thing I know.

April 28, 2019

I have 4 eyes. I blink twice so this can happen in but one moment.I sneeze four times so this doesn’t stop.I cough 2 times, so my lungs contract four times.Oh yes this is quite stable, but then again Hachooo.Number 5, I am out of my stabilty, I gotta die now. Fool

May 8, 2019

You, you, YOU!You better not be like me. You better not be just like me. You better not be me!Hence today I declare, that you need to change this and that about yourself, so then I can keep on dreaming, believing that you ain’t me.Pssht, It’s a lie that dude is telling, him there…

May 8, 2019

All the differences in the world can’t fool us forever. There are only that many to be found. There are always more of the same diversity, but in total not that many real different ones. Of these too we all carry one or more parts. Us, not only you. So can you really run away then? From anything? Only to find it again around the next corner…Boil boil boil and what’s left?I’d say there you are not, but that would never mean you aren’t existant, but only a very specific answer, more specifically the THERE is very specific. Nor does it mean that you are not in this moment.Where would this there then be? Everywhere? … Is there more besides this everywhere?

May 8, 2019

Speaking for myself, against myself, through my self, about myself, bashing myself, adoring myself, with myself, deluding myself, getting myself, losing myself, transcending myself to find Me SELF.One in One.The many Pointed Fist at nothing particular.

May 9, 2019

The world is so full of all metaphors about how I look at the world.From government control, spying, nature beating and bashing, kicking and jeering. Loving and lusting. Drinking and consuming. Interconnectedness…Uhhh I am afraid…. My ass.All those metaphors only install more smoke screens.From: The others.And then they say it’s simple. How can it be, if you can’t even see past all those metaphors at the one big thing you simply don’t want to see.You simply don’t want to heal the rift.

May 9, 2019

We are all cannibals here, every moment we exist.

May 11, 2019

Just BE, is so fucking plural its actually quite funny.

May 17, 2019

One of those days I was tired. Damn does it feel good to be tired, but then actually I felt like it didn’t. So in goes the coffee.. Yumm yumm I gets awake again… But then tiredness still ain’t gone, only shifted away. I am actually running from being tired. And they say the moment is beautiful, except if you are:Tired, Stoned, Hungry, Happy, Sad, Alone, Together, Drunk, Vomiting, and some burps, Horny,Because then you’d prefer any of the others, except the one you are feeling just now, because right now, it ain’t the right moment to be just that…And thus this moment ain’t ever right, because of one fucking thing. The only thing. The moment. Everything.Freedom is only just taking in whatever just so happens to happen. Nothing more. There is quite a lot to understand. It is pleasant to know why you are where you are, but it ain’t ever tell everything, so off you go, scurry to tomorrow, so you’ll only not have to feel this fucking moment.Better yet, fuck the moment, yourself and everything in it.And the ball goes beyond the base, never to return.You are standing there gripping nothing specifically in your hand but that’s all you’ll every need.If only you’d not run away from THIS.

May 18, 2019

How would you deal with a computer screen giving you information. I mean only the giving part, being received by your eyes. Nothing else. Not what comes out after this seeing or what it doesn’t lead you do. Nor your mental playings at whatever is seen.Now translate this into being your thoughts. That just pop onto your screen for a while and you read them. What is your relation to them and why do you take it so personal? But that’s not what we do, we not only read them, but we eat them, sleep on them, scratch and throw them into the air.Does not seem to be a sane relation to just images, but then again I ain’t sane either…Why ought the duration of the appearance of one screen to matter? Why not read it just as intently as if it were your first, last and only thing you can do?But nay, these thoughts ain’t yours. They are someone else’s.Who am I to assume you want to just hear yourself nag on and on…Yikes… Yikes. No happiness in that, let’me tell ya.I better get away from here, there not too far away I see another cloud appear, better get my umbrella out before I get wet.

March 13, 2020


March 14, 2020

Look at the world you’ve known.Look at the world we have created together.Look at how we treat each other.Look at how we treat ourselves.Can you still claim your way holds true?Can you still claim to know who you are?Can you still claim you have not done anything wrong?Can you still claim you know the way out?I don’tNever haveNever willNever everI do though keep my head low and my shoulders highI do though keep on breathing as long as I am permittedI do though need to live differentlyI do though need to let dead old wood wither awayI can’t go back anymoreI can’t deny anymoreI can’t unsee anymoreI can’t pretend anymoreI have to look beyond the abysmalI have to look right at youI have to look right at myselfI have to give each one of us a space and placeI can’t deny you yoursI can’t deny myself my own needsI can’t deny I need to do everything I canI can’t deny I need you tooI know we need to walk together againI know we need to nurture againI know we need to hold handsI know we need to grow on our own soilNature has always been there for meNature has always been there for youNature will demand its dueYet never the way, we used to do.

March 17, 2020

Most use themselves, to escape themselves,but now is neither the time, to escape or hide yourself.We have to use ourselves to be ourselves, completely without restraints.

April 14, 2020

Do you know this feeling?You begin walking and somehow you don’t stop.

May 26, 2020

The day has finally arrived, where in two neat cardboard boxes 50 books of my own hand have arrived.250 pages filled to the brim with my own creative approach to my past experiences, stories and allegories, musings and some fun I hope too.I want to sell it physically for 13 (Plus shipping) Euros and digitally for 7 Euros.You can write to me privately if you are interested and we’ll see how my book comes to you.

May 27, 2020

It seems to me that the poison is the only remedy to the poison itself.

May 30, 2020

Is it really Time to start running again?Yesterday my answer would have been YES, Where is the destination where can I GO?Today, my answer IS, ironically: STAYTHEFUCKATHOME#

June 3, 2020

What if looking at the sky outside, whether sunlit or starry eyed, all I’d ever be seeing is the inside of my body?Every pulse of my heart, the change from light to dark and light again.

June 22, 2020

Once you live and recognise the godly or whatever in everything, how else can you then thus experience it, but godly?

September 6, 2020

Into the Hermit Cave I was called back.Plenty of Harvest to make, ripe fruits blossom as far as my eyes can see.Only need to pick, pull and prepare along my internal desires.No one single way is sacred, nor perfect, but fuck that shit mate.Fuck perfection in every sense. Fuck the treasures you seek.Just dig whatever comes around, YOU.We are a treasure of such high renown that even no word could ever match the beauty we can live to be.Words galore are but the seeds.I eat my fruits bursting with juice, spraying out of my mouth.Fruits turned alcoholic meet me, everywhere I look.I turned an erratic alcoholic never ever having enough with myself, and yet this summer has left its marks I can’t undo anymore.I am truly changed, there is little to go back to.Little of worth little to find pleasure in.The old world I once knew… but pebbles on the beach next to the treasure I discovered in my own bosom, breathing, sleeping and waking wherever I walk.I get drunk on myself and with the bottle,I get stoned on myself and with the burning torch of beauty.I get naked with the demons and myself,got nowhere more to hide all that I ever was.No I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of heaven, I simply don’t see a part of me needing to change.My eyes have become blind to so many things and yet I can only see a whole in this endearing mess I once held myself to be.Coherent or not to you, I shall rise whole and unbroken with every particle that is the ME.And you,… Yes you…Well whatever I follow my own way, my own path that may lead me away from this hermit cave I returned to, because I found my hermit cave within me, and there is no corner anymore where I feel alone, because I drank of my sweat, blood and tears.I liked it too, I got drunk on my pain and I got drunk on the real me.It is time to cut ties with whatever has been and stay in what I found.

September 7, 2020

My heart is clairvoyant and forgiving.Never speaking too early or too late.It always knows when to say what!This mysterious heart of mine.This beautiful friend of mine.This troubadour of the night.If only I’d have learned to trust it earlier, but no says my heart, you’ve always been learning to trust me in just the right way.You didn’t begin trusting me too early anyway, but gradually, how else could it be called trust?A trust based on simple words without the grit of the meaning?Nay, you trust me because it’s your only way out.There’s only one path, the one you’re walking, no other could ever fit you.No matter what you do, it is your’s just right.Love, besides trusting your heart, well also that comes when you truly allow it, but that’s another story for another time…

September 8, 2020

The creation story:You know this and that happened and all of a sudden, it was all there, this majestic wild beauty, called a living. Everything was there, even the bird even the dinosaurs.But then you know, there was this one part.. Hmm yeah nay that wasn’t me. That’s the other fella. Pfreww am I glad that I never met him…

September 17, 2020

And then, there she was again, another Queen. Another female companion knowing what she wants. We have been awaiting each other for a while, since another Queen departed from me, a little more than 2 years ago. While I have been unsure of where I’d stay she patiently waited for me. I began to let go of my old Queen in the same time, but a King is nothing without his Queen, let’s be honest there. SO thank’s to everything for reuniting King and Queen.I love how her nails scratch me, bleed me and scar me. I love how she can be alone, but also together intimately. None of us will be the same again afterwards.

Jochem Jeurissen

Il agit seul, l’homme qui sait tout faire.

End of my Facebook Stream.

If you have read through those 3 – 4 years of my writing stream, you’ll see how I have changed, what words I began with and how my writing itself changed. I think that might be quite interesting as a whole. To see what was important, became important and lost it’s importance.

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