Before I kick my final of internet’s shiny friends in the bucket, I will create a rather long post of everything I have written on there. To be honest, it is kind of heart warming, loving and breaking me apart of all these places the internet has taken me, or I took myself to be honest. I have been revisiting my past on the internet and man have I been and seen different versions of myself run by. Some I would have loved to strangle and some I’d rather have killed but they are or were a part of me, so it’s good so it’s fine. Do with it whatever you like, from back to front, one huge unravelling of creations that once were, spanning a whooping 7 years, not all of them though filled with my own tentative first steps of creativity, which began around the year 2016 in New Zealand and slightly before. My travel to New Zealand being around the end of the year. One more thing, today is full moon so a hopefully long night, with freshly brewed coffee, my endeavour beginning 22.44h, First of October 2020 to one final revisit of things that need not be anymore, a final unpooping if you like, which of course happened after some good old fashioned day drinking, to make me fall asleep so I would be awake over night. If you walk with trust, these are things that can happen. Just per info, my first creations have been deleted by me, online that is, so they won’t find their way into this post as they are truly deleted.:
Jochem Jeurissen updated his status (August 24, 2016).
September 11, 2017
I’d love to share some insight on my last months and what they are changing in now.Not so long ago I wanted to walk the middle path neither being too good nor too bad, just living life step by step and day by day, as best as I can in each moment. Neither being too touched nor too invested in my life, partaking and sharing the fruits of life, in small moments shared by a few beings at a time, whom I had the luck to cross paths with. Giving and gaining lessons in life. Caring more, but more importantly allow myself TO BE. As imperfect and perfect as I am. This has brought me closer in my own relation between the people that matter to me, my family and friends, and especially myself.Now though even the middle path seems too flat, too two-dimensional.I honestly want all experiences life has to offer, the worst and the best, the pain and suffering but also on following my pain and allowing to suffer, to find the nectar of life, and see more and more that inherent beauty in all these experiences life has to offer. By the formless that can’t be expressed and the form that can be expressed. Yet even when I try to express this gift that won’t ever stop unfolding every moment, words will just be words. So I’ll leave it at that, and would love you to start being yourself more and more.I want to walk the full path, I just want all it has to offer. That may seem greedy but it is our given gift, our given right, to find peace with ourselves in the now, and not after or before death.I want nothing more than being the Silence and Love from within, neither attached nor lacking. Ever filled to the brim with that Energy that is all surrounding. Thank you all for Being.
September 28, 2017
Simple test:Can you move your hand and arms?Can you move your feet?Can you talk?Then you can control where this body moves to.Then you can move it away from situations that make you feel sad or uncomfortable.Then you can move to make happier choices and make happier choices grounded in who you are, not craving perfection, but being as imperfectly perfect as you are.Major choices will be needed to be thought through, based on your own Truth and it’s implications.For no matter what you do or say or think or feel, there will always be a greater dimension to you, than what you can see.This won’t ever disappear, hence you simply just are never alone.What more is there to be done than crush fears, and keep shaping the outer facade in statements made by your actions, not your words. To bring your own light shining within upon the situations enriched by your Grace.To create your own paradise in your surroundings based in the moment. For only the moment can be shaped. From your past you can only learn lessons and that change is constant out side, yet not inside. The future can’t ever be shaped nor is it written in stone. In key moments certain decisions do shape the different roads to be walked by you. No matter how many paths there may seem to be, there is only one in the inside.-Bhazhain Eagle.
September 29, 2017
Someone who is nothing, can be everything.Someone who is something, will only ever be something.I guess i’d rather be nothing. Not loaded up with preconceived notions what my life should be like. To decide for oneself what one wants to live and die for. But nowadays almost nobody is wanting to die anymore, as death will mean another transition into unknown territories, which we all fear. To keep on walking blindly until even the stumbling becomes a habit. From habit to trauma. From trauma to breakthrough. From breakthrough tentative steps into the unknown. From becoming more and more unknown, to finally find something always known. Until even that becomes a habit, one finds peace and happiness. The free kind, not the one you can buy. Being able to buy something means it’s linked to time. And as we all know time perishes, so even that happiness will perish one day. With mind stoned to smithereens, something still knows. Feels. That something deep within just isn’t worried a bit. Something is peaceful with thrashing gnashing waves. Dissect yourself as often as you feel like, thrust through every crack you perceive yourself to be. Hunt the intruder. To find, it’s only been you. Smooth all the cracks and break when you feel like it, put yourself back together, and on goes the merry ride.-Spell breaker, Bhazhain.
Obtober 8, 2017
Why would the highest within us, resist reaching our highest potential outside of us?
October 12, 2017
What is my name,when i have had so many faces.Crossed paths with many a soul.Crossed many chasms.Died many a death.Yet always like a flower,poised to open my petals for the sun.Like a flower my leaves fall off,yet they grow back,with a nurturing hand and time. Sun so near and yet so far.My brothers and sisters hold hands,through the ages,sand endlessly falling through the cracks.On the highest mountain I lay prostrate before the sun,to feel but it’s warming soothing rays.Like roots my feet are intertwined with the very earth they stand on.My hair grows freely over my head grasping at the rays.My hands emit the signal to call for the hunt.All animals in nature get they’re share of food.Nature satiated and free,roams beyond the enclosed spaces we put away for them.Smoking the pipe of peace with the Indian.He shares many a funny story about those squirrels,Filling every crevice with they’re lovely nuts.This lovely squirrel then leaves some nuts to grow into strong and mighty trees.This furry guardian of the trees, ever kindly.Where do they not already provide for themselves?Yet without a guide they could never have done that, or could they?Has it not been their inherent power every moment?Or those bees and the story with the flower.Be you strong or weak or does it even matter?Is not that same inherent power within you?Already there, just waiting to be recognised.Bhazhain the Mogwai.
October 15, 2017
What you do is who your person is.What you think your doing is just an imagination.
October 20, 2017
Accept this fire.Breathe it in.Let it burn everything standing in the ‘path’ of becoming free.Burn up all those fears and mind games.Allow a fresh breath of wind to clear up the smokescreen.Find your Inner Beauty.Breath a fresh breath out every moment to clear up the smoke around you.Inhale nothing but Clarity and Joy.Let the Inner Freedom consume every Moment.Nothing the fire burns can you truly hold dear, to your Self.The Self in it’s immaculate beauty.Ever fresh in the moment.A breeze of wind flowing through your life.Guiding you left and right.Nothing to worry for, as everything is taken care of.This freshness is the Gift of Life.Always there, closer than anything you may ever imagine.Just waiting to be recognised, everything else just vanishes, nothing remains, but the ever present moment.Let the fire die out.Let the ashes grow cold.Take those ashes and throw them outside, vanishing without leaving a trace.Peace and Joy emerge as your companions, merging with you.A little text created in a moment of Silence.Sentence from sentence just appearing as if out of thin air.My best wishes for those wishing to burn up old things from the past.Bhazhain, the Mogwai.
October 21, 2017
How about treating life as a simple equation of 1 + 1.The equation will add up to 2.Done, there’s the answer and all questions and phenomena can be answered, ‘rationally’ and ‘logically’.Yet in this equation there is room for more.1 + 1 + x = 2The x is 0.What can 0 add to something that already seems answered?The 0 can be everything in potential and will always be nothing.0 is the connection, the space that makes 1 + 1 seem to be 2.Nothing then is everything by being nothing predefined or set in stone, free from the rigidity of having to accost to closed in forms.Both 1’s are all the things we can see, feel, touch, taste/ smell and hear. The whole phenomenal world.The 0 adds a whole dimension to that which seems (one dimensional) three dimensional.It is all the things we can not know yet, but may come partially and then fully to know in our heart to be our true being.Without comprehending ALL that happens around us, seemingly having no influence on the coming and going of situations in the momentThe 0 is our highest potential free from the machinations of the ‘person’.Bhazhain, the Mogwai.
October 26, 2017
The one key to life 
Life would be easy if we only need one key, that helps everybody to live life to the fullest.Yet life is not as simple as that.There simply can not be one key that fits everybody’s needs.We all try a long time to fit our own life to fit one key, one ideology, one way.These ideas seem to change a lot, the more and more we grow spiritually, in search of our selves.We even find things we don’t expect at all.Life pushes us past the worst experiences, to begin transcending them.Life pushes past the best experiences, to begin transcending them.Life pushes us past all half lived experiences, to begin living them more fully, with an open heart in trust.We may learn that our heart even seems to trust beyond logic, beyond the mere visual.We begin walking blindly simply trusting in our heart, that our life unfolds just in the right way.Beyond everybody’s and your own expectations, where once you saw only distinctions, you begin seeing unity, in this apparent meltdown of cultures, people, ideas, times, and different places.Unity because of diversity.Our differences become our biggest treasures.The taste to life.For me, this one key can only be, when one learns to walk blindly, when seeing, living fully.When we find our own key, then yes, lead that happy life, experience it to the fullest. That is what I wish for you. And give the others the time to find their own key.Bhazhain, the Mogwai.
October 31, 2017
If we are in search of miracles, then why do we look away from ourselves? Can not we also possibly have a body through which miracles can be worked on the plane of earth?If a miracle should happen, then it comes from a power above and beyond the human plane. Powers of a higher order can choose to work through a lower plane body. Whether we can control these powers, is another thing. It is their choice when, to whom and from whom they work. So if your body should align itself with higher powers at a given moment of life, keep your feet on earth. Don’t fly and wane to heaven.First miracles will be worked inside, yet whenever you find one of those treasures, don’t stay there and go on, when you have learned why it has come to you, and for what reason.Stay in your heart, and let work what wants to work through us, or wants to find expression on the earth body, or human body.The deeper you go in your Self, the more your personality melts away. Until nothing but God is left.Bhazhain.
November 7, 2017
We are not defined:-by our shortcomings-by our past actions-by our past feelings-by our past thoughts-by our past interactions with others-by our ideas of the future-by differing states of living-by changing emotions-by ‘mistakes’-by material successes or failuresWho you truly always are can only be discovered by living through all of that. By being a changing wave in an infinite see with no bottom nor limit in the sky. By letting that vastness sink in, into your deepest bone marrow, into the memory of your smallest cells and particles, to breath that very vastness in and out. This ALL AND EVERYTHING become your true home into a deep unknowing loving now-ness that is unshakably able with ease to withstand the biggest surges of power, passions, clash of titans of the very fabric of matter. Unwavering faith in the SELF.-Heryarch
November 9, 2017
True spiritualityFor some time for me personally, spirituality, had more to do with rituals, books, cards, yoga and other material items from the spiritual corner. With a strict plan and a lot of dedication and constant pressure to adhere to a certain created identity based on other spiritual people and their way of living their own lives, as well as a jealousy for others people’s merits and powers.The jealousy is as I am starting to find out, very unfounded, the more I sink into my Self, the more my own life gains so much in quality, that it can’t measure up with other spiritual people, because all those ways are beautiful in their own way.The more and more I try to keep up that fake identity that isn’t me, the more I begin to see, that it creates more dis-harmony, self doubt, anger and fears. That from the created images of how my life should be like, I create my own prison. Yet I have to create my own prison first, to not want to be imprisoned anymore. So it goes for me, so it goes for other people and the whole of humanity in general.We start finding more and more dis-harmonies around us, related to birth, work in general, our consumption of material items, the way we treat each other and our out-view on ‘the others’. We have to notice that first ourselves not in a knowing way, but in an understanding way, that will only happen by beginning to live the knowledge we gain, otherwise our knowledge makes us even more lopsided people, before we as a collective humanity can grow out of our self-imposed prison. Simply based on knowledge many things appear to be very clear, but without understanding, they made me personally more judgemental about myself and others The book that set me on my own ‘spiritual journey’, filled me up to the rim, with so many things and ideas. It was advised in the book to just believe everything and take it all for granted, slowly my own discrimination would grow, to find why it was written in such a way and not another. Why every word in the book and every situation in life mattered. To start living my own truth inherent in me, a truth beyond any kind of description and logic.Now more and more spirituality is embracing all of life:-Contact with other people-Contact with my self-Sexuality, love and respect-Material comforts-Being healthy and unhealthy-The food I consume-My thoughts, emotions and bodyI can only start living a balanced life, when all of these fall into a place where I understand why they are in my life. Why I react in a certain way. Why others react to me in a certain way. The ‘problem’ can only disappear, when it can not shake you anymore into more fears, projections and ideas. Why also cows are spiritual beings, why this universe is full of conscience. From the small atoms to the big clusters of atoms. The one connection: Conscience.So none of what is written here can I truly claim to be my own knowledge, but it surely is based on my understanding of having lived through these experiences my self. I need the experience as much as the freedom that grows out of those experiences.With all my heart, I humbly thank the people that invested their lives in the search of truth. That used the time of their life for a bigger cause than their personal lives. Which is why, I can only do the same, and live that truth from my heart.Hereby I thank G. I. Gurdjieff and Sri Aurobindo and all of those that passed on that knowledge before them. Because without them and their words, my own life would not have been the same. They came into my life, and their words slowly seeped into me, in an understanding way through experiences of any kind.-Bhazhain
November 10, 2017
Truth oh truth, when you be truth, when you be untrue?Life is a game of triggers, until all triggers have been unhinged, then life begins to be.Your exclamations, your angers, your fears and thoughts all fall into their own spot, have their own reason of existence.To constantly be your own truth, to be brutally honest with the self and others around you. To stand for who you are.To face every situation in life full on.Like a boar nosing for more food in it’s path, it won’t stop for hedge, nor person. It will just cut right trough. To get what it needs.To unerringly go for the truth will have the most change.Truth is immutable, but it won’t really touch those that aren’t ready yet to hear. They might register it, for later use, but that’s all. They might err a bit more, it just might be exactly what they need, to be set on their own path. Truth is a strong sedative for those that aren’t ready yet.The truth will let all bubbles that have been put below the surface of the water rise up, one after the other, until the bottom is clearly visible.To keep one’s truth inside is like bottling a bottle with too much pressure. It will just pop and wreak havoc.Truth wants to be set free, to be played with in the field of conscience.When you have recognised conscience for what it really is, all these agitations just don’t matter anymore.Being EGO-istic helps you uncover your own limitations, helps others in being their mirror of burning truth, because you walk fully knowing how free you are. So in tune with your self, you can’t be out-tuned anymore.When finally all limitations are dropped will you walk in truth forever, beyond truth and yet forever here in the now.-Bhazhain
November 11, 2017
The funny notion of being able to kick an idea out of yourself. To get you back to senses. To knock yourself in shape.Just imagine when an idea begins entering you, and you try to shake your head to stop thinking about the ‘bad’.Here are expressed ideas:That you can push a thought out of you, by shaking your head.That the physical movement, has an impact on a thought.Thought is by definition invisible, intangible, untouchable, and yet it can have an impact on you, it can make you do things.To start kicking your head, you use another thought, to set your head in motion to kick the idea out.An idea to push an idea out, by acting in a physical way. Thoughts don’t drown thoughts, no matter how deep they are.Physical can only push physical.I can’t let out though that some kind of touching, can have an emotional impact too. Lift emotions from someone else. Yet where does the lifting go to, you take it for yourself, bear their weight. Out of my own experience, I have to learn to pull my own weight, no matter what other people have as problems. They also have to learn to keep their own weight. Is it better then if i take their weight from them? Or let them figure out, by leading as an example how to learn bearing one’s own weight, in spite of light and darkness?There is thus a huge disarray over emotional, mental and body. The way they always impact each other, instead of viewing and expressing each in their own light and right.To leave each of these 3 the time to express themselves, to learn what they mean for me. In what way they have an integral role in my life, that I just can’t drop them, I’d be incomplete without them.The more you notice these mix ups, the funnier it gets. It may not be funny that they can still shake you up, that just is part of the play.Just noticing them can show you more and more how you function as a person, from where the person functions, what are it’s areas of control, and where there is none. The more you understand the functioning of person-hood, the less you want to be person, and view everything in a personal way.The deeper you investigate, the deeper the joke can penetrate. The more you confirm yourself as un-moving, in a haze of hurry. A joke that can only be personally confirmed, that it’s all in the head, including the joke.Did you already notice that when you start thinking, your brain swells up, and when you relax, it shrinks again? There really is a sizeable difference in volume, you may begin to notice more and more through inquiry. Mental and body.-Bhazhain
November 16, 2017
Reasons why we go where we go and do what we doFor a long time why we do what we do has everything to do with reasoning.This will make me more successful, rich, have more friends, will get word out of what I do, this will help save the world or just me. I have to complete this, that and such a step to progress along my perfect idealistic career. These steps only become stepping stones to reach a certain goal in the future. To be more ideally you, whereas you may still have no real clue what you really are, but you base your actions on reasoning by thinking to know what you are.The base of the reasoning to do a certain action is then based on an uncertain idea. The stepping stones are ideas to create that perfect future, and that perfect future becomes your reason to live, because today it isn’t right yet.Today, or just the simple moment of now, never seems right then, because only in the future can you reach your full potential, and when you finally are there, lo and behold, further things are starting to scratch your eyes, more things to complete to create another perfect goal. So even that imaginary perfect goal, then seems to drop to just another one of those mediocre stepping stones.But say from now, it takes you 1 year to reach that goal, you allow yourself only to be perfect in a year. One year later and all stepping stones successfully completed, that goal can’t help but leave you unsatisfied. There is so much more to do, so much more imperfection in me.By basing our reasoning on our imperfections, we strive to become a better me, without those imperfections, which we may forget, was our motivation to strive on. But that perfection will never truly set in, and you live till your days end, breathing your last breath, without having tasted the sweet perfection of allowing oneself to be imperfect, and yet find perfection in that.By not believing in our reasoning anymore, we still move on, we become more perfect to our reasoning mind, seemingly out of nowhere. Yet the true perfection always has been and always will be only found inside, not in projections of the future, or reasoning’s from the past.-Bhazhain
November 18, 2017
Karma:The stuff we carry around, the things that come haunting us, because we were not good, not good enough, because we were good, the happy things that visit us, the unexpected happenings in our life. Karma brings the best and the worst to our life, and everything in between.Is Karma then real?Why does Karma happen in our life?Why does Karma seem so strong?From the viewpoint of consciousness, none of that is real.Consciousness is the pure and simply beautiful witness of everything we can perceive, think of, feel and touch, smell. Karma gives us the fright sometimes, but only because we see ourselves as humans, and not as consciousness, our true home, the life inside, the true life.Karma is then just an idea enforced by our past life and our belief in Karma.Yet even as consciousness, many strange and unbelievable happenings still occur in my life, the question then is why?Because I AM, i attract what i am, and receive lessons that help my growth. My vibration on this earth, attracts likewise vibrating people, so we can together ( in the best case, or alone), receive the strength to slowly heal. Yet their vibration does not necessarily have to be on the same level to help. We all have imperfections in us, all in different stages of healing, no matter how high or low we are. These different stages of being healed are also what we are.Every occurrence in life can bear a fruit for later, unknown even in the momentary play of life. So since Karma does not bring those healing moments in my life, it is what I AM. The progression of being a human is bonded with karma, in the sphere of thought, the mental world. Furthering the healing we become more and more as consciousness, and can relate our life more and more as consciousness. The idea of Karma disappears and then the actual happening of the law of attraction becomes visible, that has in actuality always been attracting all our ‘Karma’.So stop fearing your ‘Karma’, rejoice in the lessons given, because they always will bring you closer to your true SELF.Everyday we learn to see ourselves more clearly, sometimes quicker, sometimes slower. The speed of healing does not matter, they seem to be necessary to give us the strength to bear our true, untouched beauty.Bhazhain, Lightmover
November 19, 2017
I am in a Relationship with someone I Love (for whatever true reason underlying that relationship, based on different ‘important’ needs, each one of us seems to value differently)This is a sentence often used, yet when I truly think about it, I am in a relationship with everybody. Those I know, my friends, my family, my neighbours, the whole village or city. Those in other countries, those across the ocean. Everybody. With all of them i have an intimate relationship, that goes beyond love, sex, need for intimacy and someone to talk to.Here though is the hard part, I also am in a deep relationship with murderers, psychos, mafioso, drug dealers, lying people, people working in every part of the ‘Love’ industry, politicians, Monsanto, and so on. They are all human, whether they deserve that or not, is but an opinion of yours. To reject, that we all have relationships with the worst, the best and all in between, is some form of lying, that isn’t ready yet to face the truth. Not that there is anything wrong, with not accepting that yet. Even real Love needs its time to grow from little bud to a big flower embracing all. Giving off its beautiful fragrance, for all to smell regardless of who or what they love, multiple persons or just one person. There is dispersed over the whole of earth, a beautiful mixture of many different sexes, all living on One Planet. Also can I not anymore ignore beggars, millionaires, friendly or not, and so on. It feels wrong to me, to ignore my fellow human on this earth.What else does being in a relationship seem to imply? That you own a person, and forthwith, you will be the only person allowed to have intimacy with him or her, and even better is the code of ‘honour’ among friends, that once you had a relationship with someone, all of your friends ought to leave they’re hands from said person. If you really love someone, you also give him or her the freedom to express his or her sexuality any way that seems to fit his or her personality. Be that only with you, or the stranger on the street, that friendly guy from the club…If we all then truly have an intimate relationship with everybody on this planet, what does that make of two people having a couple kind of relationship? Well in the passing play of life, it is just two people walking hand in hand for a certain period of time. After that time, either a person dies, or the couple doesn’t seem right, there is a huge break up, and so on. After you stop holding hands side by side, everybody ought to be able to hold hands with any other person, if that feels right for both sides. Without all the shame, doubt, and wanting to play a certain role of perfect couple, just ‘naked’ being together.As long as I hide my own ‘ugly’, am I not yet ready to face the ‘ugly’ outside of me, and thus I live a life in veils. Where truth is hidden behind an invisible veil.As long as I ain’t yet ready to ‘die’ for my own truth, then it isn’t a truth worth living for.-Bhazhain
November 20, 2017
The truth is limitless, no less and no more.The truth has the power to set you free instantly. No personal crusade needed. The truth has the power to hijack all the personal misery and bliss and transform it into something beyond all measure.The truth as seen from pure consciousness has to be transmissible from ‘person’ to ‘person’. Anything below that is beyond my own interest. If how and when that power to transmit is able to be used consciously of our own wish, time will tell. Alas dead men tell no tales.Is this even necessary? Or are we not already all at our highest peak, in our own unique way? Not that we believe it yet, but I can stand the teeth of time, the Heropass, and vouch for it’s truth beyond all doubt. There is nothing separating you from your own truth. Be the freedom you are already living. Believe your own heart that all is fine as it is.If anyone’s truth is loaded with crap that needs to be done to achieve, then it’s a Scheherazade. You need not achieve anything bigger or lower than you already are. No wishing it were different. You are exactly where you are, because you need to be there, in your life at that moment.Then why are there wars, famine, injustices, pain and sorrow, lies and deceit?When we honestly go into these phenomenon they are our biggest help to set us free. Without the suffering there would simply be no need to be free. When there are no problems, change is unneeded.Take that load of your shoulders and be free my little bird, fly away with wings unhindered by storm, rain, and blizzard.Fly into the sun, burn yourself to ashes to let the ashes drizzle to earth to set everyone around you free. If your freedom is to fly away from here, dig deeper. If fears still dominate you, dig deeper. If hate still dominates you, dig deeper. Just dig deeper, that’s the only prerequisite for truth.The only thing you really need to do is earnestly look for your own truth, all the rest is but puffing against a storm that doesn’t abate. Earnestly demand truth for freedom. Once you are on the track for earnest truth, your own, are you almost there. Keep on repeating truth inside, whenever ‘problems’ arise. The truth blows the smokescreen away, and let’s the sun’s rays penetrate you into your deepest core, and sets you alight. You become a body of light.All murkiness just vanishes. This I believe firmly.-Bhazhain, Lightmover
November 21, 2017
The notion of pointing up to express one’s thankfulness, scorn, love and so on to dear God, Jesus or whatever one believe’s in, as if GOD is something beyond, higher than us.Nothing wrong with that.For myself though, I don’t know anymore where to point or not to point to designate GOD, UNIVERSE, SOURCE and so on.Where is He not contained in? In what action can the light of GOD not be found? In what human is the spark of GOD not lit up? How can one action be better than another, more worthy of my attention? From GOD, ALL AND EVERYTHING flows. In every emotion GOD is present. Every thought is sourced in the being of GOD. How to surpass oneself, when that would mean falling away from ONE SELF? Every home, is a home of the Righteous.How do I express my love for God then?Stop trying. Just be yourself. By defining how, and in what way we ought to express our gratitude to GOD, we fall away from GOD. What action is more worthy for GOD?All these myriad of stories describing the right and wrong, are like a desert that is so empty, devoid of light, whereas even those stories are in the light of GOD, written under his Watch.-Bhazhain
November 25, 2017
I am the devil. I am the saint.I ain’t a rebel nor a preacher.I just be me, unhinged quirkiness.Defined without definitions.Walking a road over undulating hills,Crawling over steep ridges,Rolling down mountains,Rolling up hills over the ramp,Catapulted into the sky,Soaring with angels and dragons,Breaching the highest limit ever attained,Dropping below into the pits of hell.Yet this cold lava ain’t even boiling nor does it tickle,I flow through crevices smaller than eye can see,bubbling and splashing into water,big clouds of frozen nothingness.At my lowest i find a saint waiting for me,At my highest none but the devil can reach me.This heart is confused beyond simple knowing, It can’t even tell anymore which side is up which down.This seismic cataclysm of roaring thoughts converging in the heart.Only one stream can burst out forthwith.One stream walking a road over undulating hills.Bhazhain
November 28, 2017
There once was a sage who reached enlightenment by dropping a big number 2 into the toilet.The moment it hit the water the realisation happened. – G. I. Gurdjieff
November 28, 2017
I will be a thorn to your eye as long as you need a thorn in your eye.This is my expression of Love to myself.I don’t mean to hurt anyone, but we all need a thorn from time to time to grow.I am only being myself.I never had any choice in anything that has happened to me,Nor in what way my past has changed me.I am ever more a product of the happenings, as my changefulness,Be they toothy or shiny, sugary or spicy, hollow or full, dented and broken or whole and unbroken.In neither of these changefulnesses is my beauty not expressed.And in neither of your changing aspects is your beauty not totally contained.Be the uncontained.Our life, each one’s own life, is the crucible that forms the aspect of GOD, that has to be represented by each embodiment of the SELF. Some will find common aspects shining strongest in each other. Together an aspect of GOD shines even stronger.I wish for you to find your aspect of GOD, to make it shine the strongest possible. Enriching others is enriching the SELF. We all have unique ways of doing that. Unique in voices and actions, but the underlying Truth remains unbroken. Finding your unique way of being you, and completely loving it, that my friend is where we unite.Bhazhain
November 29, 2017
Resistances:Body tension is an easy way to register there is still some kind of identification, becoming of a ‘problem’, instead of using that identification to remark your resistance, and not the tension. It is nothing but an aid. When I make you have body tensions, resistance is showing up. Use it. I only want to set you free. An easy tool for becoming more conscious. Yet also this tool is not perfect, and only as a means of recognising, and there are many other ways of recognising. None of them are for every situation. Find as many tools as you can, but stay as none of them.Bhazhain
November 30, 2017
Do we really not want to be ourselves?It is so much more fun to be devilishly yourself with saintly intentions.Oh what does this break your logic?Maybe it should, maybe it shouldn’t.As long as you are playable, universe will find occurrences, people, words, suffering, mayhem or whatever agent of chaos you just need at that moment to heal.This taunting is so much more fun, when in reality nothing in you has ever been playable.Bhazhain, Agent of Chaos through Love.
November 30, 2017
10 Commandments:1) Respect others for what they are, not for what they think they are.2) Don’t be too nice nor too bad.3) Don’t take what’s not yours, unless you ask the owner for permission and permission is granted.4) Glorify/ Enlighten the normal, there is enough saintliness, and enough darkness, both of which aren’t worth an ass’s fart to strive for. Not that they can’t be used as tools, by your being.5) Life is one big dance, when you know the moves and the dances, ain’t there always room for more dances and moves? As the fun is in the dancing, the interaction of dancers and their swell of emotions, the surges of power, the clashes of the titans. I don’t think you wanna be dancing the same few dances (your repertoire for the day as a dancer) all the time every day .6) Replicate none other than what’s your own. You don’t start knowing what’s your own, but you will find and learn to cherish.7) Don’t cling to any person, emotion, thought, teacher, sage or body. They all come and go. Let them come and go, and cherish them when they are there, for you know they will be gone in but the blink of an eye, so there is nothing to worry about.8) Remember your mortality, this one dance doesn’t last for ever, enjoy this peculiar dance as long as it lasts.9) Love your own two-sided nature, which is my biggest liberator.10) Don’t follow my commandments 
Last but not least, have fun finding your own rhythm to dance.Each ONE has his own rhythm. The one thing I will never define for you, is your own rhythm, that is the one thing you have to find for yourself. That is where the truest joy lies, finding your own rhythm, in this Scheherazade.There is no definition for freedom that can ever define freedom in it’s entirety, yet I will always push your definitions higher and higher as an expression of my love.By bringing your own emerging truth out, and letting it dance a little while you dance, something beyond you will register it’s effects, and fine tune them, so they can portray deeper and deeper meanings, for those still needing deepness.I have opinions, but they are not the pillars I stand on.You can only be big in your own shoes, in stolen shoes, there can’t be worth.MY only fight is with Illusion.7 SINS: Well ehm I am sorry, but for this part, I come up empty. Don’t really know how to define SIN anymore.Bhazhain, Shape-Shifter. Lord of flies.Old Testament. Beelzebub first arrives on the scene in the Old Testament of the Hebrew Bible. In this context, he is worshipped by the Philistines in a city called Ekron. The name Beelzebub actually comes about as an insult meant against those who worship him, insinuating that he’s a pile of shit, basically.
November 30, 2017
How can I define the ‘I AM’When I am changeful every moment.How can I be free,When my definition for freedom is still bound by definitions? Yet attaining freedom means since there are no true definitions left for you, every definition and none are you. Right and wrong only in the mental, material body and emotional sphere.Walking about without definitions, there is no freedom either, since even freedom is one further definition.Don’t be free, be yourself.Burn the star called freedom, accept you are a prisoner of GOD. GOD is merciful, as his prison is only you being yourself.The humanely invented prison called freedom is only would be better like this or that kind of dreaming.Bound in Love I am Unbound. The prison called Grace and Light. Finally even Gods are Idiots sometimes. Bhazhain. Mirrorless Mirror.
November 30, 2017
Devil’s AdvocateSaintly hammer, smitten with the power of the invisible emerging in the visible.Breaking through Sound, tearing through the fabric of Light.Smashing right into the tree of life.It’s roots are so deep burrowed into the ground,The hammer doesn’t leave a dent.What does an unshakeable tree do?It shakes other trees until their roots are just as strong!But how does an unshakeable tree move?It doesn’t.By mere being roots, branches, leaves shake with the fear of the unknown waving back at them.This unreal fear will be quenched in the fires of Truth.This Orgasmic cataclysm of chaos is nothing but the strengthening of roots branches and leaves.What if every tree of life is only seemingly shook into fear?Then what becomes of that fearful dance?Laughter and Mirth.What becomes of Desire?What becomes of Lust?Those Arch-Enemies of the faithful.Perform an anathema.Desire nor Lust will be shook.They will just laugh at you, until you are able to laugh with them.Cradle of Birth, birthing place of hell?Don’t seem logic to me .Bhazhain, Karma-Police.
November 30, 2017
Peace is already our NATURE,If we only had:The eyes to see,The mouth to taste,The ears to hear,The hands to touch,The nose to smell.The brain to understand,The emotions to cede their reign,The body to become the eternal in it’s changefulness.If we can forego the senses and stay in the Eternal,Nothing touches the unbroken.No PLEASE don’t tell me it is that simple.No this destroys all of my constructs.No I just can’t…Evade the pain, shirk away from it.Only suffering can free you, go into your deepest sufferings and take them with you on a leash.Show them around in pride. These are my shackles. Look at them. Love them. I wanna show my shame. I bear my shame as an eau de cologne. I coat myself in my biggest Fears. All my tears evaporate into the biggest nothingness I couldn’t even conceive, as this suffering has no root in you, but you have to bear the full brunt first.Suffering is the playground that makes GODS, out of mere men.Bhazhain.
November 30, 2017
Only by suffering, do we remember that suffering is not our true nature.
December 1, 2017
Fire and Ice.God of thunder.Rise of your ashes.Like the phoenix un-burned.Smack the Sheitans into our eyes.Let them rave on our fears.Fear as big as a mouse,yet personally huge as a mountain.Smoke of destruction in my nostrils,Death unlike anything seen,The biggest healer of all.Devils carry the smoke and fire, yet are the most potent healers before death.Only chaos can undo structured minds into unstructuredness.Welcome chaos of the unknown in your life.Let suns burst on your horizons.Melt away in this cosmic burning effigy of Love.Love has as many shapes as you can see.Easy to be confounded with personal dreams of misery and despair.This never-ending song of Lies.That lullaby my dreams are made of.I weave my dreams of future and past into the moment.Only the moment can take hold on me.The only moment ever known is my salvation.Ever new and refreshed do I bath in my own Glory.Bow to none but your SELF.If you bow to none but your SELF, you bow to everyone, every aspect, every kind of whatever you may ever imagine and are not yet ready to imagine.Bhazhain, Cosmic Dance of Love.