Endeavours

I have an endeavor to devour everything that holds me back from kicking away every way of holding my best of me back, in the sake of not being to strong, I mean, IN the sake of seeing myself as weak.

For I ain’t weak, nor do I sputter for slight hitches along the Ride.
To feel my pain deep, and un-drowned in mentally housed substances, No definitely not the substances themselves.
I want to find that which has no substance but the One I try to give and keep alive, to that which holds no value.
Not running from my pain, my harbinger of truth.
Breathing my pain for as long as I can.
I guzzle your dear poison, for as long as my thirst lasts, but somewhen I have drunk enough of your vitalizing well, I’ll drink my own shit, verily at that, but definitely not yours.
A dear poison handed in so nicely I might mistake it as well meaning towards me, when verily, it would be my death.

Again, not your fault. If I see something that I have the eyes and experience to see, I should speak up, otherwise I saw naught but smokescreens, of nothing real again, in the lands of dreams and smoke.

Devour me all the while you can, it is my fault I gave away of myself.
I ain’t yours for free, ain’t yours to depose your weight on, ‘cus I got my own shoulders to carry only.

Ain’t here to let you depose more of the same shit on me, so your own opinion of being so outright and good may hold true against the flames of the moment.

In this moment I stand my feet apart, looking you straight in the EYE. Not an inch higher or lower to you. I stand and affirm my voice, but no again it is in my dreams and nobody has heard my voice. My opinion has withered away into nothingness. I am still ashamed of myself and everything I hold sacred. I ain’t sacred after all, no I guzzle your poison with a smile, for it tastes so sweet.
So sweet I want nothing more than that, for all my LIFE. Where is the line where I can sell my soul to you? Where do I subscribe? What else do you want? My heart? Yours. My breath? Yours.

My every moment of attention? I am yours, for free and a dollar to your name.