First again, this is a continuation of the last post Nr. 2:
From hereon and all posts before, the words I put multiple meanings on myself, will be pink. When the same words comes up and it isn’t coloured, then you are free the put the usual ideas you have come up before with in your life, from your globe. Trying to write out how I experience my world, I will always come back to a world view gifted, and cursed for it ain’t completely mine to begin with. ???Wasn’t that what I was looking for??? I took it from another man. My source did the same. Other humans around me, do the same, whether they can see that themselves or not. Some of it was beneficial, a lot of it wasn’t. The only way to put my self at rest, with whatever Gurdjieff has caused, is to admit, some control was excerted over me, for me to see how this is what my searching the answers from other people could only do, for therein lies only enslavement. He also gives the seeker a model, only a model, that quite well, with the needed being is perfectly understood, with all of Gurdjieff’s so called going against the ‘bon ton’ is so clearly not what you are doing that it probably hurts your eyes a lot, lest the whole rest, spirit and all. Through my own Z looking at what I received, did I separate the good from the bad? The bad was in most cases my own gullibility. This is a thing you can’t really teach and yet one man did in a way teach that, for me it lies at the heart of what he, G. I. Gurdjieff, teaches. For we all swim in bullshit up to our highest of hairs. Any negation of that is just plain stupidity. So many things have been shared mouth to mouth, brain to brain, ball to ball. Not globe to globe. So did you really understand? Are your liquids really so clear?
If one saw one’s actual actions, a lot of your gullibility and blindness would become so painfully apparent that something must happen…
Trying to write without using Gurdjieff’s words is where probably most people that have truly tried to work and live with his words, fail absolutely, for the words bring so much to light that has been abstruse at best, before. If it clarifies more than you lose, because you’ll lose a lot, then it is a deal with the devil I am prepared to make. I am prepared to forgive the devil, and see the deal for what it is, what I had been looking for. Knowledge embo-DIED. Dead knowledge, but to the body.
To me to be free completely from everything given, would be to fall back again, even worse than before. For all that the model is, I am grateful. For all that it isn’t even more. For what I gave up looking though I am most grateful. Now you’ll know the kind of cocktail this certain Gurdjieff might be. Lest this same scrutiny befell me?
The globe is uniquely yours, and it doesn’t have any way of contacting another one’s globe. The ball can be in continual touch to the outside often though only very little touching to the outside happens. The globe only sends the right liquids during any moment to the ball, creating with the senses a sense of the moment. If you are with a friend for example, the liquids you have created during your life about friendship, this peculiar friend and relations in general with other people all flow into the ball. Of course all liquids can be totally pure without impurities or filled with them. Other situations have other liquids associated with them flow to the ball. How the ball feeds the globe is through the senses. During sleep as well as during waking hours, the globe is fed. In the ball itself, behind the usual mind chatter, some questions or topics can be kept flowing through the ball, until at a certain point enough digestion has happened to find a solution to a problem that you couldn’t solve before, because if you could solve a problem, you would have already done it. The actual act of solving is precisely when you can do something about it, not before. Between the appearance of a problem and the resulting solution and consequent actions can lie years, if not even months. That is quite weird isn’t it? Us the omnipotent…
If only the ball is connected to the outside, kept working through the senses, this will explain why everybody can’t really speak with everybody right away. Each one’s globe isn’t connected to another one’s globe. Whatever comes from the globe, flows through one person’s ball and is expressed vibrationally. Another person’s ball, picks vibrations up through his/ her own senses, which then partially or completely (depending on the power of attention) flow into the globe, where there is already some liquid present, the mind then either disagrees or agrees with what flows into the globe. At a later point mind can come back on this event of the past and change of polarity again, creating an only hazier image of what has happened in the past. That’s a long chain of events where in-between a lot can go wrong. Their balls each are working only as far as they themselves have come in self-understanding. Misunderstanding is the normal mode between two balls coming into contact with each other, because the balls are fed with impure liquids. The impurities might themselves already have crystallised inside instead of outside on the ball. The cleansing over time, through the growing of the ball let’s a more authentic contact arise. The purer the liquids flowing through the ball, the more authentic is your contact to the outside. Man thinks to speak to another man, but there always looms this invisible globe around their head, echoing and ache-ing.
In the perfect world, a person would only have pure liquids running through the ball and be in perfect communion with the outside. (Living reality, seeing reality, being real. Being real to me, is not running away from what’s in front of your eyes, what you can see. Let the mystery of after death be the mystery it is. Whatever happens after death is out of your living hands.) Since the liquids running through the ball are pure, so would in theory the child created from such a perfect couple be, but the surroundings are still there. They also play an influence.
Man starts as an empty globe, that his senses slowly fill up. The senses, all those that are present at birth generally work at their best. There haven’t yet set in enough impurities that work against the senses, overlaying the senses. Because the globe for the most part is still quite pure depending on the stage of life between 0 and 6 years, man grows up quite naturally. Sadly a lot of parents don’t know any better either and the purity of the child may already stop at or before 6 years of age and only get worse thereon after. Man is given after birth the kind of liquids the parents have been living with. As pure or impure as they are, because that is what the senses of the child pick up. All the smaller and bigger ways of interaction between his parents and other people the senses of the child pick up. The impurity of a liquid makes the senses work differently, prone to be mentalised, emotionalized or made strictly material. The impurer the liquids, the less well the senses are allowed to work, which only create further denser and impure liquids. Which can only get clean over longer periods, staying in the ball for longer periods. In the formative stage of life (from birth to round about 25 years old, more precisely in conjunction with the stars, about which my own knowledge is less big) whatever surrounds the senses is picked up and put inside the globe. The direct surroundings hugely influence the filling of the globe. We are a product of our past and surroundings. At more or less 25 years old, some crystallisation will already have happened. After this stage, wherever they have begun growing, inside or on the outside, will generally continue in that way. At round about 50 years of age, to expect further changes in an opposite direction is close to undo-able. The chances of decreasing the crystallisation inside will only get smaller. The crystals will be quite big inside or outside. So either immaturity grows or maturity. An immature man isn’t really man. A mature man is man as she/ he more or less should be. Man at the age of 50 will have very small chances of changing into a purer version, attitudes cemented in.
Why the senses start polluting the impure liquids already there at birth is because, at a young age the child is taught to work and live in a certain way. Since he is still quite young and naive about the world, he learns everything from the one’s that bring up the child. Whatever is impure with the parents and their relation to the world, will also be so with the child. Not 1 to 1 but as much as the child does pick up, and rest assured child’s pick up very much. (If X then Y) living is in a direct relation to the impurity of the liquids. (Z) living is in direct relation to the pure liquids. Just because one liquid is pure doesn’t mean that all liquids also are pure. Man can be pure, authentic about one thing in life, but starkly contrasting about other parts to be as unauthentic as it gets. The mind overlays the senses, needs to control them in a way, but this will only further impurify the liquids fed into the globe. Man becomes a hazier image unto himself.
So to go back to the first post, the purification of the liquids, also cleans the hazy image man has of himself.
The purification has nothing to do with actually being able to change, but only with getting a clear image of what man does, from day to day.
The purer the liquids, the bigger the ball, and then change does happen.
Reality is what is in front of your eyes. Since Reality isn’t static, Change is it’s expression. Your trying to change, the change that is happening already is how close you are to reality. The less you try to change, the realer it gets.
In my texts, I leave out many of the things I couldn’t ascertain by myself. Many of the things for which I can’t find proof. If their proof isn’t needed, how come I still find trust?
Again only by what has actually happened and changed. By having gathered enough information about what I do.
Unless though I have been able to reproduce the same effects over and over again, I ain’t convinced, such is the base for reality. With Z living, even this will be completely wrecked.
The ball is not in the shape and size of the body. In my experiences the reach of my specific ball has been far beyond my body. We all can see with our senses there to be solids, liquids and gases. This though doesn’t put everything that can happen into words. The solids, liquids and gases are what a ball can ascertain at the size when a human is birthed. The bigger the ball gets, the more fine matter can be perceived, or more closely the effects it has around you. They are too small to be seen by the naked eye. Yet it’s effects are very clear. Sexual excitement for example can be smelled, if your nose is fine enough. Body gestures speak volumes for those that understand them. Some people smell that a woman has her menstruation.
It does go further than this though. A man of the forest, in tune with animals and nature may have senses that pick up whether another animal like a deer is close by. Very often he’ll then cross paths with that animal.
The finer matters smaller than gases are at their base though all materialistic. The finest to the most coarse is materialistic. Nothing is exempt from that rule. Why then your focus befalls on what you can’t touch… Can’t somehow ascertain… Merry me.