Being Alive. All that fucking mess I have waded through. All that bullshit come from otuside, I let penetrate my heart in turbulent storms, that crap is finally leaving again but not before I have time to do nothing.
Not before I have time to be still for days on end. Yes, the mind may sputter but if you work hard, you will keep the inner calm alive, burning like a true fire.
There is a disease these days allowing us to be calm for once, heading in the right direction of course.
We got warned and didn’t feel like listening, won’t do now. No they won’t have space within to see.
Just for reference sake, I know how to hurt myself. I am hurting myself almost every day. I am in LOVE with hurting myself, as is evident everywhere I GO. Everywhere I have been, pain is thriving.
As they say, Pain is LIFE. I am LIFE and also Pain. Pain is Life. I feel the darkness, as I feel the light.
I feel the drunken master of key no more. I fell the stoned magician of nothing fresh no more.
I breathe the fresh smell of dung, stinging my eyes. I breath the smoke of industrial prisons. No Escape, no flight. No war, no deceit, said the blind man. I am War I am defeat. I am Loss I am the besieged. I am torn apart by ‘unbroken hearts’. I am made deaf by the muddy brain. I am everything you never dared to be. I am your lamb kicking the bucket for I am drowned and buried.
I am your heart, screaming at the deaf, burning for the blind. Hot for those without touch. Effervescent for those without smell. Smooth for those without touch.
I am your dying breath as you won’t listen, nay Pain is my home. Nay Pain is what simply won’t be able to kill me thoroughly enough.
Love… Where Am I? Love have I been in my own heart deep down, under all that added waste?
How would I speak, How would I feel if all that waste weren’t there?
Come to the silent for awhile, and you may come to meet your own heart again, after all that internal struggle.
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